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Verizon Guy
Subway Jared
Verizon Guy Subway Jared
horn rimmed glasses

"can you hear me know"

Paul Marcarelli, born May 1970 in Connecticut, is an American actor, voice actor and SCREENWRITER. That's right, this guy wrote a movie.

kind of creepy because he follows you around everywhere, especially while you're on the phone.

Entertainment Weekly named him one of most intriguing people of 2002, can you hear him now?

before becoming verizon's "Test Man" he had done commercials for Old Navy, Merrill Lynch, Dasani, and Heineken

has a twin brother Matthew, who is a highly-decorated Lieutenant in the New Haven Fire Department

Annoying Jack Bauer
horn rimmed glasses

used to be fat and is now phat

Jared S. Fogle, born December 1, 1977 in Indiana, is a spokesman employed by Subway Restaurants in its advertising campaigns

Jared's Statistics. He did a subway diet and the guy went from 425 lbs to 190 lbs.

kind of weird...he carries around his old pants with him.

What he ate everyday: Breakfast - coffee.
Lunch - 6-inch turkey, tons of vegetables, including hot peppers and a bit of spicy mustard. He left off the mayonnaise and cheese and had a bag of Baked Lays® potato chips and a diet soft drink.
Dinner - Footlong veggie sub - again no mayonnaise or cheese.

he must be really rich because of subway...do you think his life is all about subways now? like he only travels on the subway, he dreams of a subway series...that's all i got on that joke.

- how he became the subway guy

Contest Info

Created by
ThePenguin
on March 30, 2009
  • Voting ended March 30, 2010
  • Main Staged on March 30, 2009
  • Guest voting is allowed.
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XVSY 3/30/09 12:24 PM

ThePenguin, BIG thanks for uploading this contest and for the video linkage.  I was having some troubles this morning with the site and couldn't upload a contest.  Maybe the site is coming to life like Skynet  (from Terminator) and is starting to edit me from uploading my most entertaining contests.  dang. 
Anyway, saw your contest in the queue and it worked out perfectly.  I actually saw a story about these two on TMZ while doing some "research" last night.  ALSO, thanks for linking to the video with Jack Bauer!  (I actually made that video!)

Reply
SchweatyPete Voted X 3/30/09 12:39 PM

As I understand it, Jared from Subway now live's in constant fear of gaining weight because Subway will dump him as its spokesman.  I can only imagine what that foul food does to one's insides.  I imagine his life with be like the Marlboro Man, who did not have emphyzema, his lungs just quit working

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buttholio Voted Y 3/30/09 2:25 PM

Schweaty Pete, the dude probably gets paid a dump load of cashola for doing one thing - eating.  What a life.  I would take the $$$ and lifestyle for a gig like that. That phone guy is a pain in my buttholio.  Can you hear me now?  someone should do a mashup of him talking to that cop that got his ear cut off in reservoir dogs.  now that's comedy! click this immediately!

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couture hippie Voted X 3/30/09 5:31 PM

that link is brilliant.

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bigslizz Voted Y 3/30/09 5:39 PM

One douche inspires fatties to be thin, another is promoting brain cancer. Not a tough vote today at all.

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jackpot321 3/30/09 5:41 PM

ugh. hate both of them. I could do either job for only 1.5 times what they are making. can you hear me now holla!

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flowergirl Voted X 3/30/09 5:54 PM

The Verizon guy is much cuter than jared!!  Jared seems awkward nerdy, not in a cute way

Reply
ThePenguin Voted Y 3/30/09 7:28 PM

wa wa wa-wa wa!  XVSY thanks for posting my contest!  I did it up last night after seeing something on TV about Jared.  I personally thought that Jared would win this one but I set it so that the contest lives for a year, so I guess i'll just have to wait and see.  And I agree with couture hippie, that link that buttholio used is so brilliant.

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BootyWhiteMan Voted Y 3/30/09 8:48 PM

Jared is an inspiration to fatties everywhere.

Reply
Gallery Man Voted X 3/30/10 5:46:44 PM

I hereby announce,
VOTING HAS ENDED.
But please, don't let that stop you from commenting. The gallery is still open for your thoughts.

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