Polar Bear
Komodo Dragon

Who would win in a fight? (Today's contest submitted by Hal5000)

Polar Bear Komodo Dragon
- Ursus maritimus

- 350 to 600 pounds

- Meat eating hunters and scavengers

- Is extremely ferocious & evolved from the Brown Bear

- Eats anything it can kill including birds, eggs, rodents, shellfish, crabs, beluga whales, walrus calves, muskox, reindeer, and other polar bears....AND the elusive BootyWhiteMan

- Curious by nature

- Have sharp paws and teeth and are very fast and agile for their weight and size. NOT like BigSlizz...that dude is big but has a case of slo-pok-onosis.

- Good swimmers.
- Varanus komodoensis

- 150 to 325 pounds

- This pre-historic like dragons are Meat eating hunters and scavengers.

- A virulent bacteria lives in their mouths making even a small bite infectious and deadly. The GayCowboy has the same problem.

- fast and elusive

- Eats anything it can kill including birds, bird eggs, small mammals, monkeys, wild boars, goats, deer, horses, and water buffalo.

- Solitary and cautious by nature

- Have sharp claws and teeth and can also whip it's tail. He can probably Whip It real good.

- Can run 12 mph and dive up to 15 feet. They are excellent swimmers.

Submitted by Hal5000

Contest Info

Created by
XVSY
on March 26, 2008
  • Voting ended March 26, 2008
  • Main Staged on March 26, 2008
  • Featured on March 26, 2008
  • Guest voting is allowed.
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buttholio Voted Y 3/26/08 10:09 AM
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XVSY Voted Y 3/26/08 10:34 AM

i guess i would have to ask where does this fight go down? i'm ass-u-me-ing in a neutral location....not in a jungle where the bear would sweat and be all lunky, and not in the snow where the dragon would probably get all pissy about the cold. if you want, we can do it on my roof.

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GayCowboy Voted Y 3/26/08 10:36 AM

'Tis true. the kimodo dragon shares my ability to kill with a mere nibble on its foe. Komodo, no contest! However, one mitigating factor might be the location the fight took place in. Im not sure how well the cold blooded dragon would fare were the contest to take place in the icy arctic tundra. That sounds like it would be a delicious Ben and Jerry's flavor, no? Icy Arctic Tundra... with chunks of polar bear and swirls of komodo.

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jackpot321 Voted Y 3/26/08 10:57 AM

komodo dragons eat people, polar bears eat fish.

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nybble Voted X 3/26/08 11:30 AM

Dude. The bear would totally win. Who could kill a polar bear? Your momma maybe. You're totally stupid if you think the komodo dragon would win, besides everyone knows there's no such thing as dragons.

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XVSY Voted Y 3/26/08 11:58 AM

hey nybble - dragons do exist http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmr8ZBOFKEM

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poylaDdestroya Voted Y 3/26/08 11:59 AM

Nanook must have the tolerance of Buttholio! Komodo Dragons rule and there is not one animal on the face of this planet that can take it... Except for possibly a Killington snow snake, but that’s not fair because no one has caught one yet.

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BootyWhiteMan Voted X 3/26/08 11:48 AM

Young Nanook is preparing for the Eskimo Rite of Passage. The village elder shows him three tents. In the first tent, he must chug a case of beer. In the second tent, he must wrestle a polar bear. In the third tent, he must make love to a woman. Nanook goes into the first tent and chugs the beer. He drunkenly stumbles into the second tent. Fur starts flying. Growls and screams are heard from inside the tent. Eventually, Nanook emerges from the tent bloody and scratched up. He says “Ok, where’s that woman I have to wrestle.”

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poylaDdestroya Voted Y 3/26/08 12:02 PM

Macho Man rules XVSY.

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bigslizz Voted X 3/26/08 12:08 PM

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING kills a Polar Bear! Nothing except Sawyer on Lost.

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XVSY Voted Y 3/26/08 12:42 PM

BootyWhiteMan will be appearing at the Peanut Gallery daily folks. Get your tickets now!

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friscokid 3/26/08 12:56 PM

Polar bears are rather tough, They can swim in freezing waters for hours and hours and than wrestle down and eat thousand pound walruses. This all means it has very thick hide and fur, I don't think the dragon could get through it so easily. the polar bear has big old paws and claws... I think I lean polar bear.

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couture hippie Voted Y 3/26/08 2:58 PM

granted the polar bears are pretty hardcore. but those dragons go back to dino-days. talk about some savvy survivors.

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Hal5000 3/26/08 3:00 PM

You Humans amaze me. Always going for the bigger of the two challengers. Incredibly enough, buttholio got it correct. It's not the large animal, the more powerful animal or the thicker animal, it's the bacteria that wins. The smallest organism in this situation wins. You will be so easy to conquer it's almost wrong unless of course you elect buttholio to office to warn you of such matters, but who would listen?

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Hal5000 3/26/08 3:01 PM

Good point hippie, there is also the fact that the dragons have survived tens of thousands of years longer than the modern bear.

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friscokid 3/26/08 5:28 PM

my point is i don't know if the dragon could bite through the thickness of the polar bear skin, it swims for hours in near frozen waters

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friscokid 3/26/08 5:29 PM

besides two words....Da Bears.... Ditka could take both of them down at once

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SchweatyPete Voted X 3/26/08 6:23 PM

Come on seriously, who believes that a Komodo Dragon would take out a polar bear. I mean it can't even defeat Matthew Broderick and he got trapped by the ugliest chick on the planet! Polar bears are mean vicious killers, starve them a little bit and they'll destroy the dragon just like Jake the Snake did to Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat...just drop a DDT on the dragon and he'll be done

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poylaDdestroya Voted Y 3/26/08 7:52 PM

No way. All the dragon needs is one tooth in there to win, and I think it could absolutely get through the bears skin. The dragons eat bone. No skin is too tough for those eating machines.

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XVSY Voted Y 3/26/08 8:34 PM

schweaty pete makes me think more about my choice....but in the end, i gotta go with the dragon! one bite in the ass, done. YEEEEOOWWW. again, just like the gaycowboy.

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Hal5000 3/26/08 9:04 PM

Probability of Komodo Dragon being the winner: 96.753%. Gay jokes by XVSY to date: 16.

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friscokid 3/26/08 10:05 PM

if the dragon bites the bear, infects it.... but than the bear kills the dragon ...but than the bear dies from the infection shortly thereafter is that considered a tie

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GayCowboy Voted Y 3/26/08 10:09 PM

what if they are supposed to fight but instead they fall in love?

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poylaDdestroya Voted Y 3/26/08 10:14 PM

I would say then no winner frisco but I imagine the dragons whole strategy would be to bite and get out of there. What if they were about to fight and then at the last second stood up and started to dance in unison to a well choreographed routine inspired by michael jackson and boy bands everywhere?

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poylaDdestroya Voted Y 3/26/08 10:15 PM

You know, like when XVSY goes to work.

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friscokid 3/26/08 10:33 PM

the dragon would try to get out of there, but the polar bear is not a peace loving cattle thing... it would go after the dragon and hard

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Vlad Machismo Voted X 3/26/08 11:12 PM

I like bears.

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Gallery Man 3/26/08 11:59:00 PM

I hereby announce,
VOTING HAS ENDED.
But please, don't let that stop you from commenting. The gallery is still open for your thoughts.

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