Jackie Chan
Jet Li

While over at Drudge Report they're doing some poll about 'who won the democratic debate in PA'...XvsY asks the important question:

Jackie Chan Jet Li
- ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at 15'8" lbs, standing at 5'8"....JACKIE CHAN

- OPENING THIS WEEKEND, 2 lethal opponents battle in The Forbidden Kingdom -

- Jackie Chan - 成龍 SBS (銀紫荊星章, 2nd order of the Bauhinia Star in Hong Kong) was born Chan Kong Sang in April 7, 1954. He is a Chinese actor, action choreographer, film director, producer, martial artist, comedian, screenwriter, singer and stunt performer.

- I know i might sound like an old uncle who repeats his stories BUT XvsY once beat Jackie Chan in a race up 5 flights of stairs in the Ed Sullivan Theater. No slo-poke-onosis on that day kiddos, that disease kicked in years later.

- here are Jackie Chan's Box Office Statistics (Domestic Release only) He averages $49 million....and remember, that's only here in the US, a-broad he's super pimp.

- he was in the Cannonball Run movies

Jackie Chan Compilation - The outtakes

here's some dude's Top 10 Jackie Chan Stunts. Asides from his yapping through it, it's a pretty cool video.

- one of the best-known names in kung fu and action films worldwide for his acrobatic fighting style, comic timing, use of improvised weapons and innovative stunts...XvsY also does stunts, he runs down stairs two steps at a time.

- holds the Guinness (mmm. guiness) World Record for "Most Stunts By A Living Actor"

okay, okay, i know you want them - A bloopers video - from Rush Hour 2
- ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at 145.5 lbs, standing at 5'6"....JET LI.

- Jet Li (李连杰; Traditional Chinese: 李連杰) Lǐ Liánjié was born April 26, 1963. He is a Chinese martial artist, actor, Wushu champion, and international film star.

- here are a bunch of Jet Li's Box Office Statistics - U.S. releases only...pretty pimp. He averages $43 million (here in the US)...outside the US, he's also a box office monster.

- won fifteen gold medals and one silver medal in Chinese wushu championships. I heard that when he won the championship, he turned to his older brother and said, "wushu lookin at willis?"

A Fight Scene between Jet and Jackie

- is a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism and has met with a former XvsY winner the Dalai Lama on more than one occasion. Says that even though he has met with and shares similar religious views with the DL...he doesn't necessarily see eye to eye with the Dalai Lama with his political views. maybe he should try getting some lifts for his shoes...he is 5ft. 6 inches.

Imagine getting kicked like this?

- here's Jet Li's official Website and this is his blog

Jet Li kisses the Dragon....hey now!

Dude, this dude is FEARLESS

Contest Info

Created by
XVSY
on April 17, 2008
  • Voting ended September 17, 2009
  • Main Staged on April 17, 2008
  • Featured on April 17, 2008
  • Guest voting is allowed.
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buttholio Voted X 4/17/08 10:22 AM

just wanted to say FANTASTIC contest! I need to think this one through. See you after lunch. Actually, after I go to the bathroom after lunch...this one needs some stall time thinking.

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StiemyG Voted Y 4/17/08 11:35 AM

I’m just GLAD that today’s contest is not whether “XvY Monkey Boy” should have a taco or nachos for a snack today. That said, from my perspective, the Monkey has been leaning towards nachos lately…..Odd, as I've always known him as taco boy....In regard to Tard5000, please spell-check and review your grammar before submitting any comments to the gallery today. Computers are supposed to be smart. I know that’s a stretch for you…..

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GayCowboy 4/17/08 11:47 AM

The sad truth is that i'm forced to agree with SlimeyG. I find it very difficult to care what cereal MonkeyBoy buys or what movie he is going to see that night. If you are gonna have a contest, HAVE A CONTEST! Don't use us because you are too indecisive to choose a meal.

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GayCowboy 4/17/08 11:49 AM

Also, my twelve-year-old mac IIci had a pretty good spell check. Why cant the modern supercomputer Sally5000?

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BootyWhiteMan 4/17/08 11:54 AM

Next contest: Should XvsY pee standing up or sitting down?

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XVSY 4/17/08 12:32 PM

Okay okay! Calm down people. Funny you suggest that contest BootyWhiteMan because it is a KNOWN fact that stiemyG pees sitting down...and that's for real. No tomfoolery or goofing. NOW, great Peanut Gallery members...can someone comment about today's contest and please ignore StiemyG's comments? The douche comments and it's never about the contest. SO, please ignore him and focus danielson, focus. Some people are leaders, and some are followers. Do you really want to follow a StiemyG? (you don't have to answer here, it's a question to ask within yourself.)

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GayCowboy 4/17/08 12:39 PM

Let's hug it out.

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bigslizz 4/17/08 1:13 PM

I think I'd rather hear the monkey name drop, or be an attention whore about where he's hanging out again than pick between these two.

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StiemyG Voted Y 4/17/08 1:28 PM

jackie is too goofy (like the monkey) - I go for the JET

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friscokid Voted X 4/17/08 1:29 PM

I have never seen jackie chan and jet li in the same room, and remain unconvinced they are two different people

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XVSY 4/17/08 2:02 PM

good job StiemyG, you're my boy blue, you're my boy! knew you had a worthy comment in you. now, you may go back to your shenanigans. and of course you want to hug it out GayCowboy...that's all i'll say.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 2:05 PM

GayCowboy, pretty sad, no loyalty or faith for the old school gallery members. Very nice. Good try trying to be more appropriate today SG, but your comments are still worthless. I may have spell check errors (your language is very primitive but interesting to me) but reading your posts all I can hear is a 10 year old. Jackie Chan was Bruce Lee's stunt double. That alone should be end of contest.

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GayCowboy 4/17/08 2:21 PM

lee takes himself too seriously. Sally5k, your spellcheck doesn't work because your circuits rusted when I peed in your USB port.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 2:23 PM

homo

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GayCowboy 4/17/08 2:25 PM

sorry, I meant li, as in jet. Not lee, as in Bruce.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 2:30 PM

sorry, I meant homo, as in homosapien... homo.

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Greybeard Voted Y 4/17/08 2:40 PM

Jet Li movies are contagious. He is an angelic warrior who has made an art out of bloodshed and combat. Opponents are hypnotized by him much like the pulsating rhythm of the Cuttlefish defenses only to be sliced, chopped, punched, kicked or maimed in some other horrific way. Death is beautiful and elegance kills. SteimyG is a tool.

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StiemyG Voted Y 4/17/08 2:57 PM

Tool? Greybreard - read your post - you're weird and odd...."angelic warrior", "hypnotized", "pulsating rhythm", etc - you should catch up with the Gay Cowboy at the bath houses....

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Hal5000 4/17/08 3:01 PM

Not quite the social animal huh?

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Hal5000 4/17/08 3:05 PM

Frisco, I found your point interesting and did some research. My .2 second calculations came up with this. http://www.youtube.com/forbiddenkingdom It is a new movie staring both of them. Cinematic trickery? Possibly.

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nybble Voted X 4/17/08 3:10 PM

I wish I could pee lieing down.

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nybble Voted X 4/17/08 3:13 PM

Also Jackie Chan was the drunken master. He was also the drunken master II. For which we forgive the likes of Tuxedo.

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 3:17 PM

hahahaha nybble!!! JC for the win, and no I am not talking about Jesus. He is a punk. I used to love watching JC movies HORRIBLY dubbed on sunday mornings when I was a wee destroyer.

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XVSY 4/17/08 3:18 PM

a drunken master surely deserves my vote

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 3:21 PM

Nice resume though huh? On Jackie Chans second job interview he could be like "yeah, Bruce Lee's stunt man.... ahermmm, yeah you know... just doin my thing... it's what I do... stunt stuff.... for the Bruce-man." I don't know why that turned into an impression of Stewie Griffin doing Jackie Chan but you get the picture.

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risekevin Voted X 4/17/08 3:22 PM

Definitely Jackie Chan...cause he can crack a joke over yo head, you poor ass suckas!!!!

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Hal5000 4/17/08 3:24 PM

If any Human could do such a thing.... actually crack a joke over your head I suppose you would be right risekevin, it could be him. Nybble, I believe this device will allow you to urinate in any direction you please. http://www.madehow.com/images/hpm_0000_0007_0_img0023.jpg

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BootyWhiteMan 4/17/08 3:28 PM

Thanks Hal5000. I blame you for my nightmares tonight.

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yobwoCyaG Voted Y 4/17/08 3:28 PM

jetli rocks ur socks

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XVSY 4/17/08 3:30 PM

bootywhiteman, no worries. maybe this will make you feel better http://www.magic-cone.com/animation1.htm - it helps you pee standing up. I recommend StiemyG go order one now.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 3:34 PM

You have out linked me for the last time XVSY!! Mawhahahaha.

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BootyWhiteMan 4/17/08 3:38 PM

I think that link was to Japanese anime porn.

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 3:50 PM

I have constructed what it must have been like for the casting directors of Jackie Chan's second job. http://happyboxproductions.com/chan_resume.jpg

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nybble Voted X 4/17/08 3:50 PM

Hal. Gross. Never show me such things again. And I think that BWM hit the nail on the head. That thing was wierd. And it turned into some kinda space laser/knife thing when pressed. Also? I'm tired. And I would like to take a nap.

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nybble Voted X 4/17/08 3:51 PM

poyla, nice. :) If I was in charge I'd have hired the hell out of JC with that resume.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 4:01 PM

As for Mondays vote.... http://bayimg.com/iaJLNaAbd better late then never.

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blogenthau Voted Y 4/17/08 4:50 PM

say what you wan about these two thespians, but at the end of the day which one of them would you rather look like? no matter how cool or rich he may be or how funny he was in the Cannonball Run, it's hard to imagine stacks of poon throwing themselves at Chan, he is just so so so bloate. on the other hand, jet li's name is JET, and even though he seemingly has no charisma and skin like Bryan Adams (not Ryan Adams) chicks seem to dig him more. Isn't that why people become martial artists turned crossover actions stars in the first place?

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 4:57 PM

lol @ not Ryan Adams. Hey you never know. Haselhoff is huge in Germany.People likes some wierd shit.

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XVSY 4/17/08 5:34 PM

whoa...blogenthau, the thing is Jackie is probably getting all sorts of chicks. he's been in the cannonball run movies - that alone probably scores him chicks left and right, and up and down.

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XVSY 4/17/08 5:35 PM

HOLD IT A MINUTE!!! who is yobwoCyaG ?!!! is he like the bizarro superman to the gaycowboy???

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Hal5000 4/17/08 5:50 PM

It's just him looking in the mirror.

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buttholio Voted X 4/17/08 6:02 PM

WELL...after a great lunch, and a better time in the bathroom stall, i've come to my conclusion(s): StiemyG is probably funny (looking that is) and a total fool but gave some funny today. GayCowBoy is a complete crackwhore. Hal, you never cease to amaze me on what a toolbox you are....Blogenthau, nybble, greybeard and bootywhiteman are funny. friscokid is stoopid. NOW, to the contest - no question whatsoever - the chan man wins. he's made better movies, he's done greater stunts, he's funnier - looking and in his comedy. CHAN MAN!

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HDizzle Voted Y 4/17/08 6:16 PM

it's hard to take jackie chan seriously, hence my vote for jet li. what about chow yun fat? if he was in the contest, i'd pick him over either. he's bad ass.

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Hal5000 4/17/08 6:28 PM

buttholio is the only one who cares what buttholio thinks.

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XVSY 4/17/08 6:35 PM

i vote for HDizzle to beat everyone

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 6:59 PM

Jackie Chan soup ad from Japan. EAT THE SOUP JACKIE! EAT IT!! http://youtube.com/watch?v=l_mPgCHx19Q

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 7:02 PM

One more, a watch ad from the 80's with ol JC. http://youtube.com/watch?v=BDzrAUjiU50 maybe the ugliest watch I have ever seen. XVSY used to have a camera watch. You still have that? So cool, and now almost as retro!

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friscokid Voted X 4/17/08 7:48 PM

I have never done anything to the buttholio, He called me stoopid, I hope he means stoopid, like stoopid fresh, not like stupid stupid or there is gonna be problems, I'm not saying, i'm just saying

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poylaDdestroya Voted X 4/17/08 8:16 PM

"I use a word that don't mean nuthin, like loopid."

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XVSY 4/17/08 9:13 PM

its only teenage wasteland

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BootyWhiteMan 4/17/08 9:29 PM

"I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice"

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nybble Voted X 4/17/08 9:58 PM

I, on the other hand, will drink up all the Hennessy you've got on your shelf.

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friscokid Voted X 4/17/08 10:32 PM

just, let me introduce myself

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XVSY 4/17/08 11:35 PM

your name is humpty

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